I just watched an extraordinarily depressing and thought provoking PBS Frontline documentary on Haiti one year later. Every single day I try to take time to be thankful that my loved ones and I are safe, clean, have access to medical care, police and a social system that will not let us starve or be brutalized. I needed a break so I came to check my emails. Your post made me laugh out loud! I needed that laugh.
Are you in business? I think that doing cakes for a living would make one wish to bonk people on the head.
"I want a 16 tier cake with 200 sculpted figures for $50 please"
"Well...after all, it's ONLY cake!"
"Just leave it on the table" (no thank you, no "ooohh aaaahh" or acknowledgement that it took 23 hours)
"I'd like a 4 tier fondant cake of buzz lightyear for my 5 year old's birthday. There will be 7 people at the party"
"The cake fell over! I want a refund!" (after you've said 30 times, do NOT save $40 on delivery, the cake may fall over)
"Honey, I won't be able to come to bed tonight because the fondant is melting and I have to have this cake ready by 8 am"
"OK, bride and groom smiling couple, now that we've spent 2 hours on the tasting, consultation, planning, drawing/execution protocol for the cake, how much is your budget? "Oh. $100?"
No, I'm preschool teacher. One of the few professions that pays as little as home cake decorating. And there are still plenty of people that you want to bonk on the head!
"Your child wears a pull up and wets his pants every day. Are you sure he's potty trained? Really?"
"She's three. She is not going to be able to tell time before she can count to ten."
"No, if he is left handed, he is going to stay left handed. We will not try to 'convert' him."
"You're sorry you're late? Class ends in 5 minutes. And he isn't even in this class!" (This was the same dad as the lefty dad above!)
"I threw up last night but mommy said I could come to school today. She had to go shopping with Aunt Bitsy."
cake, I just shared your preschool post with my niece, the mom of 3 (ages 8, 9, 10). We got hysterical!
One of our favorites was a preschool teacher that always ended up saying this a couple of times a day:
Don't hit, don't bite, DON'T BITE YOUR FRIENDS!
You probably know more about their mommy and daddy's than mommy and daddy would EVER want anybody to know
Well, this is why we get along so well, I LOVE kids, but oh my, they can stretch the patience really
I tell the parents at the start of every year: I'll only believe half of what they say about you if you'll only believe half of what they say about me.
A couple of years ago we got a blow by blow description of the labor and delivery of a 10+ pound baby sister's home birth. It was part of the interview we were doing for our class book. Let's just say HEAVY editing took place. Another little girl just loved telling us about all the kissing and cuddling going on at her house. Mommy and Daddy just looove each other!
I'm lucky enough to teach kids who still think I'm a rock star. When they get older their teachers will have to work so much harder to get the love I get just for letting them do cool things they don't get to do at home. Goop, anyone?
Yeah, preschool teachers get a LOT of LOVE and a LOT of DETAILS. Today I was out running around at about 4 pm so I called Samantha & said I'd pick up the kids and feed them. I always bring enough food for 5-6 kids because I always end up with "bonus" kids. Today it was 2 bonus kids, Dakota and Kaitlyn (6 and 10). I'm on the "ok to pick up my kids" list for about 3 sets of kids in addition to mine. 6 other bonus kids tried to join in, but their folks had other plans.
We had a "picnic" at the school lunch area , then I took Dakota and Kaitlyn home because their mom doesn't have a car and they have to walk about a mile each way. Dakota just got over being sick, so it worked out great. The kids all end up at home fed and ready to do homework and hit the sack, and it's a nice break for the parents on a work day. I'm on standby to get Dakota tomorrow if he doesn't feel well at school.
Well, like I said, I just keep them for a few hours and then throw them back. My sister (passed away now for 3 years) was the REAL Pied Piper. Dad always says that Sus was born to take care of kids; she did it from the time she was old enough to carry another kid on her back. She had the most extraordinary patience and an ability to inhabit the child's world. She could eat imaginary pizza and jello and drink imaginary tea for 6 hours straight and still be game for 2 more hours. Gender made no difference. She was able to tease the bejeebers out of the kids until they were so frustrated they could scream, and they LOVED her for it. She could always tell in the blink of an eye which kid "did it" when they all insisted on their innocence with their earnest little tear streaked faces. (Man, was I jealous of that skill! I still can't tell! --and the worst part, the kids KNOW I still can't tell...)
She could come up with games like "star wars pod racer". A kid would crawl on her lap, sit facing outward, take hold of her thumbs, and she'd make the pod racer sounds while the kid's racer bounced off canyon walls, hit other pod racers, and zoomed across the finish line.
I tried all my life to duplicate her magic, but mine is only a pale shadow of hers because I lack the true patience that she had with children. After about 30 cups of imaginary tea, I'm done!